I apologize for not posting in so long. My life has seemed to spiral out of my control leaving me to wonder if it will ever be what I hope it to be. Still, with all the stress and worry, creativity can spark. I wrote this song using some remnants of my poem “Calm.”




Verse 1:

Calm…why am I so calm,

As disaster strikes all around me and I just stare

So, calm…what makes me so calm,

As my life just falters before me, piece by piece

Leaving me so empty,

A shell of who I once was…



But I’m so calm, but I’m so calm,

Why am I so calm, why am I so calm



Verse 2:

Calm…why am I so calm,

I feel the chaos circling around me as I sit still,

So, calm…what makes me so calm

Vicious glances and tension surrounds me as the war rages on…

Heightening all my senses,

Yet leaving me so numb…



But I’m so calm, but I’m so calm

Why am I so calm, why am I so calm


Why am I so disconnected, why can’t I shed a single tear? When will I escape this prison of mine, when will I feel, why can’t I feel…

Left with only sadness,

The days I knew are long gone…



But I’m so calm, but I’m so calm

Why am I so calm, why am I so calm

What makes me so calm, what makes me so calm,

But I’m so calm, why am I so calm…




I Wonder

I have been working on a poem that I finally finished and thought I would share. Please enjoy.


I Wonder

As the days pass, I become somber,

Wishing for life to be better,

Desperately clinging to the hope,

That the sun will rise another day,

And I will feel free from the darkness within.


Yet every morning when I wake,

I am again left disappointed

Another day of sadness and despair

With no hope for the future

Shall I remain this way forever?

Will there be no shred of happiness or joy for me to find?

I know not, so I am left to wonder,


And to wonder,

And to wonder…




It’s amazing to me how a person can sometimes not take hint about how you feel. That it is clear that you want to be left alone and not bothered and they just don’t seem to get it. Like you have made it obvious that you don’t want their help or to be bothered and they still won’t leave it alone. Like they are blind to see that you and he do not have a good relationship and never have (or probably ever will), yet they keep coming to you and wanting you to share your whole life with them as if they haven’t made your life miserable for over the past decade. I just don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. Are you trying to push the person to the brink of insanity so they end up in a mental institution? Are you so in love with controlling others, (or being a manager at work) that you can’t let others figure out their own life path? That you always know best and have to tell them what to do? How about letting them find their way? Everyone goes through hard times in their life and if they need your help, they will ask for it. So WAIT. Don’t force yourself upon someone, otherwise you shouldn’t expect it to be accepted well. People need to feel like they are in control of their lives and have a choice about what they want and don’t want to do.


Here is a poem I wrote a few months ago, while facing some stressful situations in my life.


Sitting in my friends car

But feeling so calm.

Why is that?

I feel chaos exploding around me,

awkward glances,

and tension of the nerves.

Thrown into the middle of war,

yet I’m so calm.

As if sitting in a flower filled meadow,

the sun shining on my face,

the cool breeze upon my shoulders,

while the feeling of nervousness,

and anxiety surrounds me.

But I am so calm.

Why am I so calm?