So I have once again divulged into some song writing, something I haven’t done in a while. Normally I write them for myself and keep them in a slightly messy song journal, but today I thought I might just share a bit of the song I am working on. It is called “Fantasy,” a song about wanting someone or something that is so far out of your reach that it seems ridiculous to even think about it. Enjoy.
I know I’ll never have you,
I don’t know why I’d want to
Yet here I am pining away.
For something, I know will never be
Now every time I see you,
My knees beneath me crumble,
And my heart skips a beat
And I keep telling myself,
To let it go, cause I know…
It’s a fantasy of mine,
One I have to leave behind,
There’s no future to behold,
So I have to let it go, let go….
I have been working on a poem that I finally finished and thought I would share. Please enjoy.
As the days pass, I become somber,
Wishing for life to be better,
Desperately clinging to the hope,
That the sun will rise another day,
And I will feel free from the darkness within.
Yet every morning when I wake,
I am again left disappointed
Another day of sadness and despair
With no hope for the future
Shall I remain this way forever?
Will there be no shred of happiness or joy for me to find?
I know not, so I am left to wonder,
And to wonder,
And to wonder…
Do you see me?
Do you really see me,
when I am sitting in the dark,
alone in the backseat of the car,
highest row back in the movie theater,
the girl farthest back in the screaming crowd.
Do you see me?
Can you see me,
begging to be found,
wanting to take a stand,
someone to take my hand,
but trapped in the lonely darkness,
which is me.
Can you see me?
I want you to see me.
At times I find myself emotionally drained, like someone has sucked the life out of me. All the happiness and excitement has been slowly emptied from my system as the minutes pass by slowly. Afterwards, I must find ways and means to pump the joy back into myself, only waiting for another moment when I will loss all my happiness again. It is a stressful and painful process and I find myself wondering if it will ever end. If the cycle will ever be broken. If the disappointment will ever permanently fade away into joy. Now, I suppose all I can do is to keep moving forward, forward to the day what will finally look better than yesterday.