Decisions

It’s amazing to me how a person can sometimes not take hint about how you feel. That it is clear that you want to be left alone and not bothered and they just don’t seem to get it. Like you have made it obvious that you don’t want their help or to be bothered and they still won’t leave it alone. Like they are blind to see that you and he do not have a good relationship and never have (or probably ever will), yet they keep coming to you and wanting you to share your whole life with them as if they haven’t made your life miserable for over the past decade. I just don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. Are you trying to push the person to the brink of insanity so they end up in a mental institution? Are you so in love with controlling others, (or being a manager at work) that you can’t let others figure out their own life path? That you always know best and have to tell them what to do? How about letting them find their way? Everyone goes through hard times in their life and if they need your help, they will ask for it. So WAIT. Don’t force yourself upon someone, otherwise you shouldn’t expect it to be accepted well. People need to feel like they are in control of their lives and have a choice about what they want and don’t want to do.

Advertisements

Calm

Here is a poem I wrote a few months ago, while facing some stressful situations in my life.

Calm

Sitting in my friends car

But feeling so calm.

Why is that?

I feel chaos exploding around me,

awkward glances,

and tension of the nerves.

Thrown into the middle of war,

yet I’m so calm.

As if sitting in a flower filled meadow,

the sun shining on my face,

the cool breeze upon my shoulders,

while the feeling of nervousness,

and anxiety surrounds me.

But I am so calm.

Why am I so calm?

-Evanglina

Thoughts in the night

Image

At times I find myself emotionally drained, like someone has sucked the life out of me. All the happiness and excitement has been slowly emptied from my system as the minutes pass by slowly. Afterwards, I must find ways and means to pump the joy back into myself, only waiting for another moment when I will loss all my happiness again. It is a stressful and painful process and I find myself wondering if it will ever end. If the cycle will ever be broken. If the disappointment will ever permanently fade away into joy. Now, I suppose all I can do is to keep moving forward, forward to the day what will finally look better than yesterday.

 

-Evanglina