I Wonder

I have been working on a poem that I finally finished and thought I would share. Please enjoy.


I Wonder

As the days pass, I become somber,

Wishing for life to be better,

Desperately clinging to the hope,

That the sun will rise another day,

And I will feel free from the darkness within.


Yet every morning when I wake,

I am again left disappointed

Another day of sadness and despair

With no hope for the future

Shall I remain this way forever?

Will there be no shred of happiness or joy for me to find?

I know not, so I am left to wonder,


And to wonder,

And to wonder…




After The Magic Ends

So it is over. The opening of presents, the singing of Christmas carols, the drinking of egg nog, the laughter of family, and the magic of Christmas. It has all come to an end as it does at the end of every year. It makes you feel a bit empty doesn’t it? You spend November and most of December laughing and preparing for the exciting day, only to have it end suddenly at 12:00am on December 26th, leaving an empty space there. Well, maybe not, if you are still surrounded by the positive energy from family. Otherwise, it doesn’t feel like anything. I think I have gone to many Christmas’s not feeling the excitement I once felt as a child. Now I am excited up until Christmas, and then on the day, it vanishes. Maybe someday the excitement will return. Not to dampen the holidays, but it does end so quickly. Now, one must prepare for the new year and hope things will remain good, or if not, become better as the new year arrives. Merry Christmas.


Thoughts in the night


At times I find myself emotionally drained, like someone has sucked the life out of me. All the happiness and excitement has been slowly emptied from my system as the minutes pass by slowly. Afterwards, I must find ways and means to pump the joy back into myself, only waiting for another moment when I will loss all my happiness again. It is a stressful and painful process and I find myself wondering if it will ever end. If the cycle will ever be broken. If the disappointment will ever permanently fade away into joy. Now, I suppose all I can do is to keep moving forward, forward to the day what will finally look better than yesterday.